Online Memes #2 May 7, 2008

This is me in a nutshell…

I AM… currently in despair because of unforeseen events.

I WANT… to travel more.

I HAVE… a very affectionate son and a very patient husband.

I WISH… we can cease renting this year.

I HATE… self-absorbed and controlling people.

I FEAR… death.

I SEARCH… for inner peace.

I WONDER… what tomorrow brings.

I REGRET… not getting what I want because I didn’t believe in what I am able to do.

I LOVE… browsing the net.

I ALWAYS… take my son anywhere I go.

I AM NOT… perfect.

I DANCE… when no one is around.

I SING… charismatic praise songs when I’m unhappy because it lightens my burden.

I CRY… easily.

I WRITE… about myself but not all things about myself because some things are needed to be left untold.

I WON… what I only deserve to win because I can’t win it all.

I AM CONFUSED… about other people’s motives.

I NEED… God.

I SHOULD… be the best of whatever I am.

THE LAST THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH IS… what I have done for the day.

Thanks Christine!

WIFE Operating System May 3, 2008

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Going To The Pub 7.5, and Softball 3.6

I can’t seem to keep Wife in the background while attempting to run my other favourite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife.

Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User

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Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men often complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife manual under Warnings - Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 2.7 to alleviate your program problems.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance! Wife does come with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5, and Do Bills 4.2

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Shorts skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,
Nag Support Microsoft Woman

Online Memes #1 April 29, 2008

Let all the bloggers around the globe come together in unity by blog linking. All you have to do is add your name to the list. Don’t forget to specify the country where you are from and of course, link your name to your respective blog. If you have two or more blogs, add and link ‘em all. Then invite 8 or more bloggers to do the same. Here we go!

Julia from Philippines, Catherine from Malaysia, Shi from USA, Mitch from Philippines, Hailey from Philippines, Sexymom from USA, Liza from Philippines, Sasha from Philippines, Thess from Netherlands, Marie from Philippines, Evi from Canada

I am inviting bloggers from different parts of the world to take part and they are Christine from Australia, Priya from India, Joy from UK, Toe from Cambodia, Al from Norway, Lynneth from France, Jeff from Dubai, Ethel from Luxembourg, Duke from Turkey, Yen from Qatar, and Rey from Singapore.

Thank you Marie for tagging me.

Idiomatic Expressions #1 April 27, 2008

A watched pot never boils

Some things work out in their own time, so being impatient and constantly checking will just make things seem longer.

Words of Wisdom #1 April 27, 2008

He who knows much about others may be learned, but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.